2011 - Ready or Not, Here It Comes

2011 - A new year. It is coming tonight, whether or not we are ready for it. Posts on Facebook and recent conversations with friends reveal varied responses to the coming new year. Some can't wait for the fresh start and are filled with hope that 2011 will be better than 2010. One friend is actually saying good-bye to 2010 with no regrets. An impressively bold statement. It caught me by surprise. I looked at my 2010 and I wondered if I could make a similar statement. Uhm, NO! This year was not an awful year by any means. I've certainly lived rougher years. But, I do have a couple of regrets and things I wished I'd done completely different :o)

Looking forward, do I have high hopes for 2011? Not in particular. Don't be depressed. I just don't have huge specific achievements that I'm striving for this year. New Years is the season for resolutions and promises. We know the drills - lose weight, work less, etc. How many of us actually keep those resolutions? And when we don't, end up feeling like complete and utter failures?

I thought this year why not set some goals and objectives which are attainable, but a little less measurable. Forget the "I'm going to lose 25 lbs by March on the Lemon cleanse diet" goals, which set us up for failure. Instead, focus on personal change and improvements. Am I confusing you? Here is what I mean.

2011 Goals and Objectives
I will . . .
- watch less television
- read more books
- take more walks
- remember my vitamins more days than I forget (Note: I discovered the adult version of a chewable daily vitamin. I actually look forward to taking the darn thing now.)
- spend time with friends
- eat breakfast more days than I don't (Note: After all, Breakfast is THE most important meal of the day)
- drink more water and eat more fruits and vegetables
- decide on whether or not to pursue a Masters Degree
- continue to reduce my debt
- practice my active listening skills (Note: I think this may be a permanent life goal for me. I'm amazed at how easily I tune people out (via multi-tasking) or assume I know what they are going to say next and jump in to the conversation before they are finished talking.)

I expect the list will shift around in terms of priority. Some things may even be crossed off and new ones added. I suppose I see this as a living contract between me, myself, and I. The goal is no guilt, just lessons learned and improvement achieved.

Happy New Year to All.

Family Portrait

For Christmas this year, my brothers gave our Mama the gift of a family portrait. Today was the official day where we gathered together to capture a moment in time. Nine of us - 3 brothers, 2 sisters, 1 brother-in-law, 1 nephew, 1 Mama, and 1 Papa. According to the photographer, the size of our family was going to max out his studio room. So, if we add to our numbers between now and the next family portrait, we will need to move to the great outdoors. Considering our last picture was over 5 years ago and we didn't add anyone to the numbers, we might still fit :o)

Lunch ended the family outing. We went to Denny's. Someone voted down La Caseta. For those of you from Fallbrook, will know this was a terrible thing to do. La Caseta is still one of my favorite Mexican Restaurants. But, Denny's was acceptable. I got to eat breakfast for lunch. Reversing meals like that always makes me a little happy - feels like I'm breaking an unspoken rule and getting away with it :o)

So, with a little Photoshop and high quality printing, the family is captured in time. I look forward to the final version. Wonder where I will hang the portrait?

Christmas Past

Today is December 26. The day after Christmas. (A moment of silence to reflect on another Christmas gone by . . .) Wow. The build up to Christmas borders on pandemonium - the mad rush of purchasing, creativity of wrapping, hand cramps from card writing, and cheek aches from smiling at parties. And then, in one day, it is all over.

I didn't get through my "to do" list. It's a Wonderful Life and White Christmas were not watched this year. Oh well. And Christmas Cards didn't get out to everyone on my list. There are, however, accomplishments to celebrate - Chocolate Pecan Pie set (first attempt in August was soupy), Acorn Squash Dish a success (new recipe), Breakfast Casserole tasty (another new recipe), traditional movie with the family watched (True Grit - Excellent film), and presents selected for family and friends were enjoyed (yeah! no returns).

And in case any of you wondered . . .
364 days to go . . . Christmas 2011

Ugh

This is one of those days where I have a general sense of "Ugh." Perhaps it is the unseasonably warm weather (high 80s today). Or the fact that I felt lousy about my teaching performance this morning (major strike out). Then there is the awareness of being single during the holidays. A memory stirred up deep emotions last night - crap.

On top of all of this "ugh" I feel at a loss of what to do. A phrase continues to ring in my head, "Now What?" Since August I've been focused on the application and interview process for the job I wanted. It felt so sure that I had plans of when to move and where to live. It was a huge disappointment when I didn't get the job. I believe God has a plan, but man, I'm having a hard time refocusing on this particular version of my life.

UGH!!!!!

Christmas Joys

As I write this post, I sit curled up in my living room chair. Munching on pretzels. Watching a movie. The date is Saturday, December 11. Christmas is officially two weeks from today. That's right readers, only 13 shopping days left. I am pleased to announce (brag??) that I finished 99% of my shopping. Woohoo.

Christmas is honestly my favorite time of year. So many memories are associated with Christmas. Here are some favorites:
- 2010: My brother, Micah, is home from Afghanistan. Can't wait to see him. (I know it's not really a memory, but I know it will eventually make my top 10 list!)
- 198x?: We all got bikes. I loved my brown 3 speed bike. It took me on many an adventure. Including the dramatic fall in Yosemite, which scarred my perfect legs :o)
- 1986: My brother, Matthew, was born. My bookend. December 19th. I was 11.
- 2008: A Christmas Day walk in the rain with a special someone. (God had other plans, but I still smile when I think of that Christmas. And the earrings make it impossible to forget.)
- 199x?: Papa finally agreed to buy my brothers a Nintendo. Resounding cheers filled the house when they figured out the message from the clues they unwrapped.

People speak of traditions during this time of year. Mine seem to vary. However, there are some things which don't changed.
- Purchase and decorate a real tree. (Finished)
- Decorate the house (Finished - Bells, wreaths, bears, and candles are all out.)
- Watch Christmas Story (Laughed my way through it last night!)
- Watch It's a Wonderful Life (Pending)
- Watch White Christmas (Pending - Note: I have to fast forward through many of the dance scenes. They just go on FOREVER.)
- Watch Christmas in Connecticut (Pending)
- Eat Papa's Christmas Breakfast (Christmas Day)
- Eat Mama's Sticky Buns (Christmas Day)
- Traditional Schnarr Christmas Dinner - Carne Asada (Christmas Day)
- Shop the After Christmas Sales (This is when I buy my ornaments and next year's wrapping paper and Christmas Cards.)

These things are my Christmas Joys. Memories, Family, and good times.

Merry Christmas to all!

I forgot was a blogger

Well, I forgot I was a blogger. I was checking my Facebook profile and saw the link to my blog. Oops, I'm supposed to be writing here :o) I really should just resign myself to the fact that I'm a lousy blogger. I forget to write. Run out of things to say. Muse randomly in such a way that no one but myself understands.

Work is insane between now and the end of the year. I don't expect to write much. Please be patient with me. I'm sure I'll remember again before too long that I am a blogger!

ID Check

Last night, I traveled home from Phoenix. My flight was delayed, so I decided to go to Fox Sports Bar. I ordered a Dirty Martini (side note: I'm on the search for a perfect dirty martini - the best so far is Jake's in Del Mar with Hendricks Gin). The waiter/ bar tender asked to see my ID. Be still my heart . . . oh wait, I've been here before.

Flash back to October 2008 - Kauai, Hawaii. After an amazingly delightful vacation, I was waiting for my red-eye flight. I treated myself to one last fru-fru drink (you know, one with an umbrella and fruit). The bartender asked to see my ID. At first, I was feeling especially young. Then I saw the sign over her right shoulder, "We card everyone." About 20 minutes later a 40 something woman approached the bar and ordered a glass of wine. Following her script, the bartender asked to see her ID. You should have seen the woman light up as she flipped through her wallet. And to this day, I can still see myself turn to her and say, "They check the ID of everyone. See the sign?" And the light went out . . . I'll give her credit she did laugh. But watching her face, I thought, NEVER AGAIN. I will let anyone who wants to believe they are being carded because of their "youthful" looks. They shall have the moment of joy.

Return to yesterday. Fox Sports Bar. I get carded, the 30 something guy next to me gets carded, and about 15 minutes later, an older woman has a moment of joy - and I keep silent.

Shades of Color

Purple toes, yellow flowers, blue tree . . . shades of color are filling my weekend. Last night I pulled out a fresh canvas and painted. Today, I treated my myself to a pedicure.

I haven't painted in over a year. I do not consider myself an artist, but I love the process of mixing colors to get a specific shade. Last night I played with my Acrylics. Less smelly than oils, but I prefer the thickness of the oil medium. My best color of the night was a reddish brown (created through brown, orange, and touches of red and yellow). I started the night off painting flowers. That was a joke. The flowers are acceptable, but the stems looked like green finger streaks. Now the canvas is a mixture of my colors - yellowish flowers and a blueish tree set against the background of a gorgeous brown (auburn?). I fully admit I'm not going to win any awards, but painting brings me a simple joy.

For the pedicure . . . the toes are purple - not just any purple - a sparkly purple. The last time I tried purple, my toes looked black. This shade of purple is MUCH MUCH better. When the sunlight hits them they twinkle. Even got a flower painted on each big toe. Pedicures are one of my comforts. I like my toes looking good. They make me smile.

These shades of color brightened my weekend. I needed the colorful weekend. My week ended roughly, so my mind, body and soul were encouraged and refreshed through my artistic endeavor and an hour of pampering.

What shades of color filled your life this weekend?

Peace Over Disappointment

I was disappointed this week. You see, I had a hope. A deep heart hope, which ended with a resounding "NO." The details don't matter. I'm determined to not dwell. In the process, though, I was struck by the way God prepared me for the answer. The still quiet voice spoke to my heart earlier in the day and I knew. Believe me, it didn't stop the heartache, but the comfort of knowing God was part of the process brought me peace. Amazing.

Pumpkins and Kids

I spent my Friday night with the Martinelli kids - Isabella, Lucca, Anteo, and Sofia. Mom and Dad are enjoying a much deserved mini-vacation in paradise. Now, I'm the oldest of 5. I teach Sunday School. I grew up baby-sitting and dust off these skills periodically for friends with kids. My resume sounds fairly impressive. All signs indicate that an overnight with the kids should be no problem for this skilled individual, right? I successfully navigated the evening, but man, I'm exhausted. Kudos to all of you with kids. How do you do it every day?

It was a fun time. Friday afternoon Teo taught me how to play Super Mario Brothers on the Wii. He was patient, but I could tell my absolute failure to stay alive very long disappointed him. We tried again this morning. Bella and I played another round. Lucca was impressed by my "skills." Had to give all the credit to my mentor, Anteo Martinelli :o)

Friday evening we went to Miss Daina's house for a Pumpkin Carving Party. I think the last time I carved a pumpkin was when we lived in Oceanside. MANY MANY moons ago. I helped Anteo. Confession. I wasn't a good helper. But, I blame the pumpkin. Everyone else's tops carved out easily. It took me 20 minutes and in the process I broke a child-proof knife. Once I got the da*n thing cut open, I recognized the problem. His pumpkin had a 6-8 inch THICK "crust" whereas all the other pumpkins were more like 1-2 inches. I practically sawed the thing open. Phew! Bella and Lucca used creativity and better pumpkins to achieve great pumpkin carving success! Once I figure out how to download from my new camera to the MacBook, I will update this post with pictures.

Adventure for the weekend. The mini-van wouldn't start. Dead battery. Fortunately, there were helpful handymen around who happily hauled out their jumper cables and charger to get the van up and running. Took a while, but eventually the battery recognized it was juiced up and came back to life. We opted for the long route home in order to fully recharge. Grammy was picking up the kids on Saturday and would be using the mini-van. I figured it wouldn't be good to pass off the kids and a dead van.

Bedtime. Is this always so complicated? Showers and baths. Teo and Sofia tried the water wash version of bath-time. I won the debate in regards to whether or not they needed to climb back into the bath and actually use soap. I think teeth were brushed in 10 seconds flat. I chose not to do the math in terms of how many teeth probably got missed. The bedtime story was 2 pages out of Lucca's insect book - The Hawk Wasp. Uhm. Let's just say what the baby hawk wasp/ larvae does to a spider (specifically Tarantula) is horrific and not a pleasant way to die. Glad I'm not a Tarantula. I'd never sleep.

Where was I? Right, Bedtime. Baths done. Teeth (or at least most of them) brushed. Sofia in bed with bear, baby, and her water. Anteo in bed. Lucca in bed. Bella reads to me out of her chapter book and then to bed. Deep breath. Wait. Wait. Wait. VICTORY! They stay in bed. Sleep takes possession of their bodies. Rest wins out over their active minds. And then bed for me.

Amazingly enough, I actually sleep. I get up with time to spare (kids still sleeping) and achieve my one morning objective - a shower! By the time I get out, Bella, Lucca and Anteo are awake. Playing Wii. They all think it is funny that I take a shower in the morning. :o) We play some Wii (see above mention about my "mad skills" and my mentor Anteo). Breakfast - Cereal, Fruit and Breakfast bar for the boys. Pancakes for Sofia, Bella and Miss Emily. I need to celebrate a moment here. For those of you who know Sofia, all know she is a PICKY eater. Case in point - No amount of arguing about the tastiness of a hot dog or quesadilla at the party last night would convince her to eat anything other than chips. (David and Diane - I tried really hard. She did drink water, so I made sure she was hydrated adequately.) Anyway, this morning, I am pleased to report Sofia ate - 2 pancakes, banana, AND a yogurt. Woohoo!

Grammy arrived about 11am. We successfully transitioned responsibility of the Martinelli kids from her to me. Once relieved of duty, I headed out for a cup of coffee and time with my book. Gorgeous morning - Warm sun, blue skies, and everything sparkly clean from the rain.

All in all, the weekend of pumpkins and kids surprised me by being delightful. Oh, and in case you wondered, the van did start up again this morning. Battery still charged.

P.S. Is it something to do with watching multiple kids that makes you forget their names? I kept calling Anteo "Lucca." Good grief. Is that a sign of parenting brain?

Softball Memories

Softball. Softball. Softball. I truly love this game. Tonight we won. Sadly, I did not hit well. I'm blaming my cough. But, I'm afraid I'm in a hitting slump. (shhh . . . don't tell!)

My first softball season was 4th Grade. An ambitious year - I played softball and was in the Girl Scouts. Oddly enough, I didn't continue either after that year. I have no idea why. Anyway, I played right field. I still remember the thrill of my first pop fly catch and my coaches surprise reaction. I wasn't the best player on the team :o) It was a 9 year hiatus before I returned to the field again.

Church league in Fallbrook. I think I played for 2 years, maybe 3. My memory isn't recalling those specific details at this particular moment. It was fun. The league only required one girl per team. So, initially, I think the guys expected me to be the "token" girl. I surprised them and could actually play :o) I played catcher. I loved (and still love) watching the ebb and flow of the game from this position. All the pieces coming together - defense, offense, TEAMWORK!

Memory: Playing catcher. Runner on 2nd. 1 out. Ball is hit. Guy running for home. The ball comes flying in. I catch it and stand ready to tag the runner. (Typically it is a slide and avoid game). Imagine my surprise when the runner just keeps running and literally bowls me over. As I'm flying through the air I think, "DON'T drop the ball." Then my head hits the ground and I black out. When I come to, the guys are grouped around me. Their faces worried. I'm conscious enough to know I've dropped the ball. And then the pain - head, back, body. Aches! Hurts! I tried super hard not to cry. But, I failed . . . the sobs came pouring out. I got up and made the effort to walk it (sobs, pain, etc.) off. Meanwhile, some of the other guys are holding Damien back from taking out the guy who hit me. "You don't hit girls," he said. I knew, then, I was a member of this team. :o) (As a side note: Ironically, the guy who took me out was the pastor of the church we were playing. Guess he was super competitive and didn't heed the verse - blessed are the meek.)

Another hiatus from Softball. Until The Fields, my church in Carlsbad. I think now I've been playing on and off for the last 6 years or so. The players change each season and we've played in a variety of leagues - Carlsbad, Vista, and San Marcos. My love for the game continues. I'm still the catcher. Observing the game, and occasionally making spectacular plays at home.

Sunday Morning Oatmeal

I am not a breakfast eater. (Yes, I already hear the voices reminding me, "Breakfast is THE most important meal of the day.) It's not that I don't like breakfast. I just typically prefer the extra 20 minutes of sleep. The truth is breakfast is my favorite meal to eat out. When I do make breakfast it is simple - toast, cheese and fruit, smoothie, etc. So, to eat out where someone makes a full meal for me is a treat!

Today, I'm home resting. Trying to fight off this cold before the work week starts. Since I wasn't rushing off to church, I took the time to make oatmeal. Growing up, Oatmeal was one of those comfort meals. We always made quite a production out of Oatmeal for Breakfast. Mama would put out bowls of toppings - raisins, coconut, brown sugar, sesame seeds (or other nuts). And we got to build our own bowl of oatmeal. Entertainment and good food! :o)

Annoying Cold

Where did this cold come from? Felt fine and then wham last night - drippy nose, headache, and sore throat. I went to bed early, hoping that would encourage the cold bug to go away. It didn't work. I think I ended up with fever dreams - and proceeded to wake up every 2.5 hours like clockwork. (Whine.)

My disappointment stems from the fact (or at least my opinion) that I had good plans for the weekend. Breakfast with my sister, brother and nephew. Then a walk, talk, and dinner with a friend. Out of kindness to them, I stayed away. Didn't figure I should share the cold (I'm nice that way.) So, instead I drank mint tea, took a nap, read a book, and am now staring mindlessly at the TV while an NCIS Marathon flashes across the screen.

Here's hoping the cold is short lived and I'm back to normal soon. (Which of courses raises the philosophical question - What is normal anyway?)

Birds and Rain

It rained today. I know, SHOCKING! It is actually still raining as I sit inside typing my random thoughts for the evening. I was in Torrance to visit a supplier and this necessitated driving home in POURING rain. I ran the windshield wipers for the whole commute back home - 2 hours. I can't even remember the last time we saw rain in this amount.

But my whole point in even writing, is to talk about the birds. I saw birds flying in the rain - Seagulls, Ravens/ Blackbirds, and Pigeons. What's up with that? Perhaps on their own equivalent of a commute home? Or just out letting the rain pour over and refresh them?

I was inspired by the birds. Out facing the elements. Not allowing the rain to interfere with getting from point A to B. Some of them even appeared to be simply soaring with the currents. So, why do we hunker down and try to dodge BETWEEN the rain drops? Take a moment, and walk in the rain. Let it refresh you.

Enjoy.

Mondays

Last night I spent the evening with my friend Diane and her 5 kids. I am blessed every time I spend time with them! I enjoyed dinner (DELICIOUS pesto pasta and chicken), bath time (managed to keep most of the soap out of Sofia's eyes), played Wii (I suck just as much bowling electronically as I do "live"), held baby Talia (who cried the whole time - guess she has the stranger danger thing figured out), and ended the evening with a heart to heart talk with Diane.

Some part of me wishes all Mondays could be like this one. But then, days like this one would be common place, and I'd miss out on the simple joys of living life.

Simply Emily

I start and stop blogs every year. They always seem like an excellent idea. A place to muse, celebrate, report, and converse. Sometimes I have followers, but usually I don't. Themes have been broad to specific. Boring and exciting.

So why now? Why "Simply Emily?" Perhaps because I'm riding a personal roller coaster. Ups and downs. And to make matters worse, I know I'm on the ride, but have no clear idea of where it is heading. This makes it extremely difficult to prepare myself for the dips and curves. As a result, I feel jerked around and totally out of control. Words provide me with an outlet to unload and process.

So, join with me (or don't) as I navigate my way through life's roller coaster. Ups and downs. Curves and straight lines. I will ride - believing deep down that the Master Navigator is firmly in control - He won't let me fly off the tracks :o)